The Power of 17 Magic Words
The Power of 17 Magic Words
The "Magic Words" refer to specific linguistic techniques and phrases designed to influence people's subconscious decision-making processes, often leading them towards a desired outcome. These techniques are presented as lessons from the bestselling book "Exactly What to Say".
The core idea behind these "Magic Words" is that they "talk straight to someone's subconscious mind". The subconscious mind is described as not thinking too much and primarily responding with a "yes" or "no". By subtly changing how a question or statement is framed, these techniques can elicit a completely different response than a more direct approach.
For example, simply changing "Can I have your phone number?" to "What's your phone number?" compels an immediate answer. Similarly, instead of asking a coffee shop customer, "Do you want one or two muffins?", asking "Would two muffins be enough for you?" makes "yes" a likely answer because the word "enough" makes it feel like the right choice, thereby influencing the customer to buy two instead of one.
How do specific linguistic techniques influence people's subconscious decision-making processes?
The specific linguistic techniques outlined in the source are designed to influence people's subconscious decision-making processes by tapping into their natural inclinations, emotions, and assumptions, often leading them toward a desired outcome without explicit pressure.
Below, we detail 17 such "Magic Words," each serving a specific purpose in guiding conversations and decisions.
Changing Question Framing:
Simple changes in how a question is posed can elicit a more nuanced response, one that goes beyond a simple "yes" or "no" answer. For instance, asking "what's your phone number?" compels a response, whereas "can I have your phone number?" allows for refusal. Similarly, "Would two muffins be enough for you?" makes "yes" a likely answer because the word "enough" suggests it is the correct choice, influencing the customer to buy two instead of one. This works by speaking directly to the subconscious mind, which primarily responds with a "yes" or "no" to direct queries.
"Would you be open-minded to...":
This phrase leverages people's desire to be perceived as open-minded. By starting a question with "how open-minded are you," the subconscious is primed to respond with "yes" because no one wants to appear close-minded, effectively making "yes" the most comfortable answer.
"Just out of curiosity...":
When someone says they need to "think about it," this phrase helps them reach clarity by prompting them to articulate their specific concerns or realise they have no valid excuse. Deep down, people often know the right decision, but they delay or avoid it; this phrase helps them confront that inner knowledge.
"If I can, will you...":
This technique allows you to uncover the real reason behind a refusal by proposing to solve a stated obstacle. If the person still refuses after you offer a solution, it indicates that the initial reason given was not the actual issue. This helps you avoid wasting time on superficial excuses and get to the core of their decision-making.
"When would be a good time...":
This question implies that a "good time" to discuss or consider something exists, effectively removing "no" as an option for consideration and shifting the focus to confirming a specific time and date.
"What happens next...":
People often hesitate to move forward due to a fear of being pushy or a lack of direction. By clearly stating "what happens next" and explaining the subsequent steps, you provide the necessary guidance for them to proceed. Ending with an easy question related to the next step, such as "what's your best email address" for sending agreements, encourages an immediate and simple response that signifies agreement to move forward.
"What do you know...":
This challenges the foundation of someone's opinion without directly arguing, helping them realise if their belief lacks solid evidence. This "soft approach" allows them to "save face" while becoming more receptive to new information, as their confidence in their original stance is subtly questioned.
"I'm guessing you haven't got around to...":
This phrase is used to follow up on a promise and prevents the other person from using the same excuse again. It elicits a response based on either pride (if they have completed the task) or embarrassment (if they haven't), leading them to make a new promise or take action.
"I'm not sure if it's for you, but...":
This opening statement reduces pressure by suggesting disinterest, which paradoxically increases the listener's curiosity. The word "but" then focuses their attention on what follows, making them more likely to consider the idea. This also helps in overcoming the fear of rejection when sharing ideas.
"Just imagine...":
This technique leverages the idea that "every decision we make happens twice: first in our mind, then in reality". By asking someone to "just imagine" an optimistic scenario, you help them mentally picture it, making them more likely to take actions to achieve that imagined future.
"Before you make your mind up...":
This phrase aims to convert a definite "no" into a "maybe" by creating an opportunity for the other person to reconsider their initial stance. It allows you to introduce new information or perspectives that might influence their decision, thereby increasing your influence.
"Most people...":
This phrase appeals to people's desire for confidence and conformity. When people hear that "most people" do something, their brain tends to think "I'm most people, so maybe I should do that too," making them more likely to follow the suggested action without feeling pushed.
"Could you do me a small favour...":
This works best when someone has just thanked you for something you've done for them, as they are in a state of gratitude and more inclined to reciprocate. Asking for a "small favour" at this moment makes them more receptive to a request, like asking for a referral.
"You have three options...":
People dislike feeling manipulated and prefer to believe they made the final decision themselves. By presenting three options, you give the impression of helping them see all choices. Strategically, the weaker options are presented first, leaving your preferred choice as the last, making it appear the most logical and attractive, which people then "effortlessly pick".
"What makes you say that?":
This question is used to gain control in a conversation or negotiation by requiring the other person to explain their reasoning. It helps you understand their true motivation or the lack thereof, rather than just accepting a superficial excuse.
"There are two types of people...":
This phrase hooks listeners by making them instantly wonder "which one am I?" and making them eager to hear the choices. By presenting one choice as clearly "good" and the other as "bad," people are psychologically guided to pick the desired "good" option.
"The good news is..." / "That's great":
The technique "The good news is" is a form of labelling, which helps the other person accept a positive label attached to a situation, fostering optimism and reducing negativity. When people give excuses, responding with "that's great" positively reframes the problem, causing them to view it differently and shift their thoughts in a more positive direction, rather than expecting an argument.
"How would you feel if...":
This technique motivates people by presenting a future scenario that appeals to their emotions before logic. People are often more motivated by avoiding a loss than by acquiring something new, so presenting scenarios that highlight potential losses can be a powerful motivator for action. The greater the contrast between their current situation and the imagined future (good or bad), the more motivated they will be.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a psychological approach that studies how language, thought patterns, and behaviours interact. It was developed in the 1970s by Richard Bandler and John Grinder, who believed that by understanding the structure of how people think, speak, and behave, one can model successful strategies and apply them to improve communication, personal development, and influence.
Core Ideas of NLP:
Neuro – Refers to the mind and how we process experiences through our senses (sight, sound, touch, taste, smell).
Linguistics – Focuses on how language influences our thoughts and behaviours.
Programming – Suggests that our thoughts and behaviours follow patterns, and these patterns can be reprogrammed to achieve desired outcomes.
Impact on Communication Change:
Building Rapport: NLP techniques, such as mirroring body language and matching speech patterns, help build trust and stronger connections.
Reframing Perspectives: It encourages people to shift their perspective on situations, reducing conflict and creating more positive outcomes.
Effective Persuasion: By understanding how people process information, communicators can tailor their messages to resonate more effectively.
Overcoming Barriers: NLP helps individuals identify and change limiting beliefs that hinder open communication.
Clarity and Influence: It enhances both verbal and nonverbal communication, resulting in more transparent and more impactful exchanges.
In short, NLP offers tools for enhancing the way people communicate, resolve conflicts, influence others, and cultivate more meaningful connections.
How Can You Encourage Action?
You can encourage action through specific linguistic techniques that influence people's subconscious decision-making processes, guiding them towards a desired outcome. These "magic words" and phrases work by making a particular action seem natural, logical, or emotionally compelling.
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